Before Moving Day
The Pre-Admission Assessment
Before your parent moves in, the care home will carry out a pre-admission assessment. A senior carer or manager will either visit your parent at home or in hospital, or invite you both to the care home. They’ll assess your parent’s needs, preferences, medical history, and daily routines to create an initial care plan.
This is also your chance to share the details that matter — does your parent like tea with two sugars? Do they prefer a bath to a shower? What time do they usually go to bed? These small details make the transition much smoother.
What to Pack
Most care homes will give you a list, but as a general guide:
- Clothing: At least 2 weeks’ worth. Label everything clearly (iron-on labels work best). Include comfortable shoes with non-slip soles.
- Toiletries: Their preferred brands. Some homes provide basics, but having familiar products helps.
- Personal items: Family photos, a favourite blanket or cushion, a clock, their own pillow if they’d like. These make the room feel less institutional.
- Important documents: NHS number, GP details, medication list, LPA documents if applicable. Keep originals safe and give the home copies.
- Electronics: TV, radio, phone, tablet. Check with the home about PAT testing requirements for electrical items.
Don’t bring everything at once. Start with essentials and add more as your parent settles.
Moving Day
Try to keep moving day calm and low-key. A few tips:
- Arrive at a time that suits your parent’s routine — not too early if they’re not a morning person
- Set up the room before your parent arrives if possible, so it feels welcoming rather than empty
- Stay for a while, but not too long. Your parent needs time to start forming connections with staff
- Say goodbye positively — “I’ll be back on Thursday” is better than a tearful, open-ended farewell
- Don’t be surprised if your parent is upset, angry, or withdrawn. This is a massive change, and all reactions are valid
The First Week
The first week is the hardest — for everyone. Your parent is in an unfamiliar environment with strangers. You’re at home worrying. Here’s what typically happens:
- Days 1-3: Often a “honeymoon” period where everything seems fine, or alternatively, complete resistance and requests to go home. Both are normal.
- Days 4-7: Reality sets in. Your parent may be more vocal about wanting to leave. Staff will be working on building routines and relationships.
Most care homes will call you if anything significant happens. You can also call them — good homes are happy to give updates.
The First Month
The settling-in period typically takes 4-8 weeks. During this time:
- Visit regularly but don’t hover. Your parent needs space to build their own relationships and routines in the home.
- Attend the initial care plan review (usually within 2-4 weeks). This is where you can flag anything that isn’t working.
- Communicate with staff. If your parent tells you something concerning, speak to the manager before assuming the worst — there are often two sides.
- Watch for positive signs: your parent knowing staff by name, mentioning activities, or looking comfortable in communal areas.
What About “I Want to Go Home”?
This is one of the most painful things to hear, and it’s very common — especially in the first few weeks, and particularly with dementia. Often, “home” doesn’t mean the physical house. It means safety, familiarity, comfort. It’s an emotional statement, not always a literal request.
Respond with warmth: “I know this is a big change. The staff here are lovely and they’re going to take really good care of you.” Then gently redirect.
If the requests are persistent and your parent is genuinely unhappy after several weeks, that’s worth taking seriously and discussing with the care home manager.
Taking Care of Yourself
The transition is emotional for families too. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel — relief, guilt, sadness, or all three at once. Talk to friends, join a support group, or speak to your GP if you’re struggling.
If you’re at the stage of looking at care homes, CareFinder can help you compare options and find a home that feels right for your family.